zackisontumblr:

friends with overprotective parents

juicyjacqulyn:

andrewpauldost:

last year a big group of girls in my class were all talking and this one girl was like “im bisexual” and all the girls like stared at her and then the girl goes “dont worry im only attracted to pretty girls” and i was like did she just burn every girl in here i think she did

swafg:

staff at checkout: that’ll be $9.95
me: here’s $10.00
me: keep the change 

alecstasy:

alecstasy:

my dog just had surgery to get a nipple removed and when she came home after the surgery she immediately walked to the window and she has been staring out of the window for like half an hour now thinking about her new life with one less nipple